1. Now pay attention, because this gets rather tricky pretty swiftly, let me tell you. Place the aforementioned garment around your neck, situating it so that A is longer than B.
2. Cross A over B. It rather reminds of a fellow I once met in Delhi, funny chap, one leg, and cross-eyed, and he used to perform this extraordinary gesture while he spoke, exactly like a gannet flapping its wings in a stiff breeze.
3. Bring A up and under the loop, much in the same way one would
if training a gun dog to fetch pheasants, or a servant, as the need
applies.
4. Now double B over itself to form the front base loop of the tie. You see, I always remember this by thinking of what my old Quartermaster used to tell me, which I can't quite remember now, but it certainly helped.
5. Loop A over the centre of the loop you just formed, easily done if you picture the position of the warships during the Allied assault on Gallipolli. God, what a glorious day it was! The sun shone, the trumpets blew like Hell, and there was an excellent Château Latour at dinner!
6.
Holding everything in place, double A back on itself and poke it through
the loop behind the tie, like a Cardinal would on encountering a difficult
stain on the Pope's laundry.
7.
Adjust the tie by tugging at the ends of it and straightening the centre
knot. You are now ready to protest to your heart's content without fear
of mockery or indeed violent reprisal from the police, who are predominantly
working class and therefore in awe of a well-completed bow tie.
